A twice lost love
by IcyTwintails
Summary: A love that was first rejected out of desire for political equality may have ruined the chances of their relationship ever developing further. America has his own reasons for the Revolutionary war. Forcing equality may have turned England away for good. He had lost him once through his lack of visits. This will determine whether or not he is twice-lost. One-shot, possible two-shot.


Disclaimer - Don't own the characters.

**Sorry if anything seems historically inaccurate. Kind of short, but then again, I write all of this on my mobile. It's been 2 years since I've studied history, and it was Canadian history. I have no clue on any American history. I just took some dates and made sure they made sense. First one-shot, Fluffy stuff! Please review! **

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1700

America sat alone for hours in his room, waiting for a certain someone he knew was not coming home. On this gloomy night, the boat was surely delayed.

He looked at himself in the mirror. Too many years away from his guardian had left him rebellious, even self conflicting. Inside himself, he felt as though a whole other country wanted to come out. That other country was more loyal to France and England; the other half however, had its own opinion.

They were tired of it. Taxation, following English law, the disputes between north and south, and his people were in a time of conflict. The body of North America was pained, and though the people were unique individuals who had opinions that benefited themselves, the personification of said continent had gone through many psychological breakdowns. This was too much for him alone to handle.

When young Alfred was at the bottom of feeling despair and loneliness, only at his lowest points would big brother England come to take care of him.

"I've missed you. How are you America?"

"I'm fine, I've missed you too. It's been a while."

He wanted to say something, but didn't want to offend. His real feelings were hidden by small talk and empty phrases.

1776

That rebellious teen had gone through a lot. British North America, a name that was heard up north, had finally set the two free. North America was now just America, and his little brother British North America had taken on the feelings of the loyalists and people of New France.

He felt like a new man- grown up, having his own responsibilities; but even then, he missed England-Loved him even, for over a century. His people on the other hand, they weren't fans. This day was the last day before true change would happen. And he had England right here with him.

'Independence- how do you feel about that?' America asked him.

"It's your people's decision, and that has a factor in your thoughts. You know every reason as to why people want this, and you agree with the majority. That's just how our existence works. I don't want you to leave. I mean, as much as I love your company, and benefits from the imports to my country, you are rather expensive to take care of; Then again, so is your brother." England replied.

"I want this for myself." America stated. His voice was hard as he spoke, as though it wasn't of his own free will. He inwardly hated the fact England was speaking on a business behalf. Who could be so cold, so frigid, and yet so loving and tender?

Independence would set America free from the limitations of being a colony. It would put England and America on equal terms. It was all he wanted; equality. Perhaps then, England would pay him more mind. Perhaps then, he would finally be proud of his little brother.

The only problem was, he didn't want to be the little brother. He didn't want England to look down upon him from his past, or because of their ties. He wanted to be more than just a family member out of many.

Even after all this, was it worth the risk? What if he wouldn't understand? What if he thought he was ungrateful? What if... - It was worth the risk? In the end, America will have a new reputation, a stronger economy, a bustling industry, and if luck was on his side, a significant other.

"I want this because-" he froze.

He couldn't possibly tell him why; especially when he wasn't too sure of his reasons or feelings. This could have been either a phase, psychological breakdown, or the drive for equality. After all, he had many mixed feelings- especially with the more personal bond he felt directly to the otter country. No, he could not admit it. Not even to himself. Who could say if he would ever build the courage?

Deep in his heart, he knew it was more intimate.


End file.
